Breaking the Stress Cycle
Families are stressed out right now! We know this. Life has been turned upside down by Covid and now we have a glimpse of watching it turn right side up again. This brings a lot of uncertainty and difficulties. Wearing masks and awkward social distancing practices has become habitual for most of our children. As we get vaccinated, we will have to re-learn how to shake hands, stand close to people, wear lip gloss (just me?), and function socially again. It is comforting and unsettling all at the same time. We have been practicing social distancing so long now that it has become oddly comfortable.
When everything shut down in March of 2020, I began to consider the implications of “pandemic life” on development. As a pediatric occupational therapist, I am enamored with the developmental process. Many people were wondering what kind of mark the pandemic lifestyle would have on children. I remember, this being dismissed. “Children are resilient”, “Children will cope with this better than adults”, and “Children are adaptable” became phrases that circled my mind. We are now 12 months into “pandemic life” and I am here to tell you, the stress has left its mark on our young ones.
What do we do when we see factors out of our control affecting our children’s emotional well-being? This can leave you feeling hopeless, and powerless as a parent.
What do we do when we see factors out of our control affecting our children’s emotional well-being?
I have recently been introduced to the concept of “The Stress Cycle” thanks to Brenee Brown’s interview with Emily and Amelia Nagoski. They wrote a book titled “Burnout”. Full disclosure, I have not read this book. But I have started the prequel by Emily Nagasoki that introduces the topic. The theory is that when we encounter a stressor, it is important to complete the Stress Cycle in order to move forward. If we do not complete the stress cycle it can manifest in different parts of our bodies (i.e. muscle tension, digestive issues, etc.). Nagoski gives some examples of activities to help us complete the stress cycle such as: physical activity, breathing, positive social interaction, laughter, affection (verbal or physical).
What does all of this mean for children? The Stress Cycle theory ties in with sensory integrative theory so well! We can use regulatory strategies (follow up post coming soon) to help our children complete the stress cycle. It would be impossible to identify each stressor that our children are facing and help them work through the stress cycle for each stressor. However, we can intentionally implement stress reducing strategies into our daily routines. We can also practice naming our own emotions, and helping our children name their emotions.
In the midst of living through a pandemic, a freak winter storm, hurricanes (I live in Houston, TX), and other various stressors, it is empowering for me to feel like I have some ideas for helping myself and my children cope with all the factors that are outside of their control. My three-year-old has been exhibiting signs of stress recently. I have been working to intentionally connect with her by telling her stories about when she was a baby, impromptu dance parties, outdoor play time including bike rides, and plenty of heavy work strategies (follow up post coming soon) to calm her nervous system and facilitate connection.
When parents have strategies and tools it helps them to be calmer and more confident. I am in the parenting trenches with you guys! I have more questions than answers. But thanks to my profession and understanding of sensory systems, I have a large toolbox of strategies to help manage stress. It’s my desire to share that with you. If you are interested in individualized strategies to help your children cope with stress, I would love to talk with you (click “scheduling” button on top upper right hand corner).